30 November 2007
I was told now would be a good time for an update. And as I sit in front of my computer to write now, I think if I muster up enough willpower, it might actually happen.
Actually the past few months, or rather since I last wrote, I've felt a little better than before. It could be the medication, or it could just be that time heals all wounds. Or maybe the real reason is I try not to think too much these days.
On the surface, things seem slightly more "normal" for me now.
I still can't recall when I last smiled though. Or really "enjoyed" doing something.
It seems that, with the medication, my senses have dulled. I don't know whether this is a blessing or a curse.
Is it better not to feel pain, sorrow, grief and emptiness, or not to know happiness ever again?
26 June 2007
They told me to return when I was ready. I think I might be... for now at least.
It has been a struggle. In the long months I tried to escape, I only ended up sinking in deeper into the bog I now recognise as "depression".
What has all this culminated in?
I have decided that I shall fight. Since I have repeatedly had no courage to end my life, I have chosen to try and make it productive again, try to find new meaning and pick myself up from where life last dealt me a nasty hand.
This site, thanks to the help of my family, friends, and one persistent hostess, was finally made possible, despite my initial indifference.
With their assistance, I have researched a little into my condition, and sought medical help for it.
With your continued support, and the empathy of other depression sufferers, I hope to find some light at the end of the tunnel once more.
If you know of anyone suffering from depression, or suffer from it yourself, you can show your support and share your stories here.
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